The Life

I've tried to think of ways to set myself apart from the other running bloggers out there.  I could -

 - run really fast, in which case the content of my blog wouldn't really matter
 - just make the blog's content somewhat less self-loving and boring

Those are some options, but I'm just going to start typing.

My day begins around 6:30 when I stumble out of bed.  Everything hurts as I shuffle to the bathroom to pee.  Usually I whine at my wife to make me some coffee and oatmeal before she leaves, and usually she does it because I sound so pathetic and am limping around hunched over in my underpants.  Once breakfast begins I am slowly aroused by the coffee and my saturnine countenance and general feeling of malaise toward life and all mankind starts to evaporate into a caffeine haze.  Then it's time to poop.  If I forget this crucial stage before heading out to run, there will undoubtedly be a few rough miles out on the trails until I find one of the Biff's corporation's well maintained port-o-johns.

I thrive on this morning regularity (double entendre?).  It's nice to be in a caffeinated and less depressed state before being met by a nice single digit windchill once stepping out the door and flashing my tights-sheathed legs and buttocks to the unsuspecting patrons of the skeezy bodega (crack-dealing front) across the street.

Let's talk about wardrobe -

It's been cold here, but hell, it's Minnesota.  When I head out the air temp is usually between 10 and 20 degrees and by the end it's usually around 30 if it's a nice day.  Luckily for me I get stuff from a company that makes mostly nordic ski stuff.  What I've learned here is the importance of a baselayer and wind shield.  I can slap on a nice tight baselayer and my Craft Featherlight Jacket and be safe from about 10 degrees to nearly 40.  Then I pack myself into a pair of Craft's thermal fleece-lined tights (I could wear these all day).  Next a hat - anything that isn't cotton, and some good thick mittens, and out the door!

The next two hours is spent cruising the bike paths along the Mississip' or around the chain of lakes.

Upon my return to the 'hood I usually do some strides in the alley and some leg drills, while bewildered neighbors just look at me.  It's too weird to even yell something homophobic in my direction.

It doubles as a shower!

Then it's man time.  My core/strength routines are pretty basic.  I base it all off of what I learned from my former coach Mike Smith and awesome guy Jay Johnson.  You can see some of the stuff they've come up with here.  I don't do anything too regimented, just as much as I can remember to keep my sick 8-pack abs lookin' hott.  Then I pound some Powerbar recovery drink (so many plugs in this post!) and jump in a tub of freezing cold water.  In the near future, I plan on the next step to be going to work or something, but since I've yet to discern if I have any marketable skills to peddle to nearby businesses, I usually just fall asleep with the cat.

When I get up, I usually repeat the morning routine, and try to work on one of my numerous writing schemes, which have henceforth netted me $0 US (-$20,000 if you count the college education).  Having two ridiculous dreams is sometimes tiring, so after an evening of watching TV reruns and foam rolling, I usually hit the sack early. 

Well that's it.  Here's a week of training:

- 126 miles (6 runs)
- 2 fartleks (tues/fri)
- 1 long run (25 mi)
- several hours watching indoor track meets and the Tokyo Marathon online and swearing at the computer.