Embarrassing things are usually less embarrassing after the passage of some time. (See: high school) But I'll get to that later.
Here's me in the USATF 25k National Championship race at the 5/3 River Bank Run:
So, the race got underway safely, with the first few miles at a brisk and frequently fluctuating pace. At about 10k, things got serious and I drifted off the lead pack as we headed up the hills. I grouped up with a Kenyan guy and was content to wait around. Luckily for me, Mike and Zach Hine came rolling up on us hard around 9 miles and I jumped on the train. We cleaned up some damage through the 13 mile mark, and I felt a slight slow down. I knew if I wanted to get away I needed to speed up and get something built up. I sneaked off and got a few seconds on that group. I managed to hold it to the line and finish 7th in 1:16:48, qualifying for the .US Road Racing Championship in November.
I was pumped, but something else was brewing.
I forgot to mention that in the vicinity of the 10k mark, I suddenly had some pain in my belly. I really had to poop, but that is not an option. Shitting your pants is not usually an option, and especially not in white shorts. I held it and dealt with it. I thought about stopping probably twenty times, which would have meant dropping out of the race. I was having a great day (running-wise) and really wanted to place well. I grimaced (pictured) the rest of the race and got it done. I spent the rest of the day on the toilet, hurting, but glad that I had toughed it out. And now is the embarrassing part.
I was pooping my brains out during the day Saturday so I expected to be uncomfortable. After a while, I wondered if something more had happened. I had held a big poop for about 45 minutes and generally stressed about every system my body has, so I got online and did some research as well as corporeal inspection (too much?) anyway, I realized that I had run myself into a wonderful case of hemorrhoids. At first it was hilarious, but then I had to deal with it. Hemorrhoids are no freaking joke. I was having trouble sleeping and really doing anything (including running) was quite unpleasant. There is no moral to this story. Running is hard and it hurts, and sometimes you give yourself hemorrhoids.
This weekend the TCTC reunited to race the Brian Kraft Memorial 5k in Minneapolis. I went out really hard and apparently slowed down a ton at the end, but still held on for the win in something like 14:17-14:20, which I was pleased with after the big week of training I'd had. I did not wear the white shorts this time.
Right now I'm locked in on the US 1/2 championship at Grandma's Marathon on June 22, hoping for another good title race placing.
